Fun Stuff from Prof Bunsen's World of Science

We have built a collection of fun Science Related Graffiti, Science Laws and Slogans.
Here is part of our collection.  Enjoy!

Science Graffiti & Humour

I got an ‘A’ in Science. Stupid – there is no ‘A’ in science.

On an empty disk you can seek forever.

Geography is spreading all over the world. Stamp out geography!

Handy Guide to the Modern Sciences
1. If it’s green and moves, it’s Biology.
2. If it’s yellow and stinks, it’s Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics.

Earthquake predictors are fault finders.

Danger! Do not stare into the laser with remaining eye!

The lab called, your brain is ready.

Crop circles are the work of cereal killers.

Forty isn’t old if you’re a tree.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Never be spontaneous . . . you might combust.

Old chemists never die, they simply fail to react.

Half the people you know are below average.

Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

Yesterday I couldn’t spell engineer, now I is one.

OK, so what’s the speed of darkness?

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

Chemistry Prof on the line: “Yes, Dr Gustav Plant . . . ‘p’ for phthalimide, ‘l’ for lithium, ‘a’ for acetaldehyde, ‘n’ for nitrochlorobenzene and ‘t ‘ for triethylamine.”

OTHER

Don't take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

In a nuclear war, all men are cremated equal.

LAWS

Balance’s Law of Relativity: How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

Drew’s Law of Highway Biology: The first insect to hit a clean windscreen lands directly in front of your eyes.

Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Herblock’s Law: If it’s good, they discontinue it.

Allen’s Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.

Lawson’s Laboratory Laws:
- Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.
- First draw the curves, then plot the data.
- Experiments should be reproducible; they should all fail in the same way.
- When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
- Do not believe in miracles; rely on them.
- Teamwork in the laboratory is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.

Newton’s Fifth Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

Carson’s Consolation: No experiment is a complete failure; it can always be used as a bad example.

Patrick’s Theorem: If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

Walker’s Constant: The quantity which, when added to, subtracted from, divided by, or multiplied by the answer you got,
will give you the answer you should have gotten.

Dante’s Law of Distribution: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Kovac’s Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Gumperson’s Law: The probability that a given event will occur is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Hertzberg’s First Law of Wing Walking: Never let go of what you’ve got until you’ve got hold of something else.

One more Law: When in doubt, use a hammer; the bigger the doubt, the bigger the hammer.

MURPHY’S SCIENCE LAWS

1. If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.
2. Things are always found in the last place you look.
3. Any wire cut to length will always be too short.
4. If a project requires n components, there will be n-1 units in stock.
5. A dropped tool will land where it can do the most damage. Also known as the Law of Selective Gravitation.
6. Toast always lands butter-side down on the floor.
7. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
8. If you fool around with a thing long enough, eventually it will break.
9. A device selected at random from a group having a 99% reliability, will be a member of the 1% group.

 

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